Living Dead Girl
by missdaine
Summary: Buffy has broken away from Sunnydale and escaped to non other than LA. Set after the episode 'Once more With Feeling' Spuffy. Not what you might think...


_Something a little different for you to have a look at, the story is set somewhere after the musical episode 'Once More With Feeling'. This may or may not be a one shot depending on the responses. _

_Of course I own nothing and no one. I would also like to thank my better – Stampeding Elephants._

The music in the small underground club was loud enough to wake the dead, or at least make them dance with apparent enthusiasm. The girl moved with grace that could only be supernatural, people unconsciously made room for the tiny blonde, in awe of her and yet too intimidated to approach her dancing space, the occasional eye contact she made with others clearly stated that she would have none of it. The music possessed her, and she was easily able to forget the life she had left behind, and the selfish needy and overwhelming people that were in it. Fuck them was the mantra that continued to play in her head, the only person could gather enough emotion to care about was Dawn and yet she had Willow and Tara, it was enough, after all she shouldn't even be here, she didn't want to be here. No, that wasn't right, she didn't want to be there, however she didn't really want to be here either, in this club anyway, the pounding bass drew her out of her thoughts for a time as she moved more erratically to the music. LA hadn't provided anything challenging to kill and this club was a desperate attempt at quelling the desire that was constantly burning within her. For what she wasn't quite sure, a sudden yearning to see Faith distracted her momentarily, it seemed she had taken on her mantra of want, take, have quite well, she just had to work out what it is that she wanted. A new understanding of Faith invaded her consciousness as she realised it certainly seemed she was going the way of the institutionalised slayer. How strange that the thought didn't bother her but merely made her wish that she was here, at least there would be someone to dance with and possibly have a decent fight with later. The memory of their last fight hovered at the edge of the mind, a memory that she hadn't allowed herself to think about for years, the power of the blows that were dealt back and forth, equal in their ferocity. However, Buffy had never let herself go completely for fear of becoming like Faith, what she then thought was the enemy. Now the thought tasted like freedom, throwing herself into a brawl with a thought to nothing but the violence. And now she was gone... where again... her thoughts were straying, ah yes, jail, no small part thanks to her. A shame really, she doubted anyone else in LA would provide a good fight unless Angelus popped up, shit, she had forgotten this was his town, she originally only had thoughts of getting to somewhere populated, loud, violent where she could lose herself. LA had seemed like the perfect place, however seeing Angel was not on her itinerary, good, bad or otherwise she did not want to see him, he would do the guilt trip, Angel to convince her to go back to a life she had no interest in and Angelus because he would know it would hurt. God how she hated them both. She had no time for mind games and both of his personae put her through a loop.

Suddenly, she made her way to the bar and ordered straight bourbon, the memory of drinking with Spike and the pleasant lull it sent her thoughts into still fresh in her mind. This time however, when the seedy looking bar tender passed her the drink she managed to knock it back without too much face making. He had said something to her, but she couldn't hear a damn thing, nor did she care what he had to say. Staring blankly at him, she motioned for another shot not even bothering to nod and smile like she knew what he was talking about. She could still feel the burn in her throat from the previous shot and she had decided she liked it. This was all that mattered at the moment. The burn, yes she smiled slightly to herself, she would simply replace one burn with another. Just then the barman returned with a leering smile and a touch that lingered when he passed her the shot, smirking she simply downed the shot, not caring how the barman acted towards her, only caring about the burn she was now feeling slide down her throat. Then just as the last of the bourbon passed over her tongue she was twisted around and slammed back into the bar so suddenly that the wind was knocked from her and a fiery pain raced up her back from the hard edge of the bar. Gasping from the shock and closing her eyes against the pain she took note of her predicament but her heart rate only sped up when she felt lips hovering near her ear, fighting the constant noise of the club.

"Come with me now"

With that she was ripped from the bar so harshly she felt as if her arm was being torn from her socket. Glancing a platinum head on the person dragging her so roughly she allowed it, he seemed more angry than she had seem him for many years, she doubted she'd be able to resist him in her current state. Closing her eyes she let herself focus on the pain still lingering in her back and the new pain screaming through her arm in his firm grip. Despite everything she felt a smile growing on her face. She may not be able to have Faith, but it seemed fate had delivered her the next best thing, it seemed the old Spike was back with a vengeance. This was proved even more true as she felt herself roughly thrown through a door into the back alley of the club. Stumbling slightly in the heels she had chosen to wear she managed to straighten herself up and finally come face to face with her assailant, a glint in her eyes that had been absent for a long time and a smirk gracing her lips. Spike was obviously livid, she could practically feel the danger radiating off him as he stepped close to her, invading her senses completely.

"What the bloody hell are you doing slayer? I've been looking for you for three days? Everyone is worried sick, Dawn thinks you've been killed"

The brief twinge of guilt Buffy felt at the mention of Dawn was quickly dismissed, after all she shouldn't even be alive, let them think she was dead, it would be easier that way. Instead of getting angry, she found herself looking Spike over, he was obviously in complete disarray, his hair a mess, his chest heaving in anger and it made her wonder. He was already close to her so saying nothing she stepped closer, bringing them practically nose to nose. She could feel his rapid breathing on her face and she closed her eyes, his scent taking her over.

"I'm not going back," she said simply not looking him in the eyes and preferring to gaze at his lips so very close to her own.

Just as suddenly as in the bar, she felt herself thrown back against the alley wall, her head cracking slightly on the stone. Letting the pain in once again, Buffy closed her eyes, noting that his hands were now on her shoulders.

"I thought you were dead," he seethed, his teeth clicking audibly as he snapped at her. "You can't just walk away from your life, from them... from me"

Finally angry, Buffy brought her arm up between them and easily sent him flying backwards in his distraction.

"I'm not turning my back, I'm finished. As I should be, I'm done with that life, with the guilt. What the hell do you care anyway? I can't be that girl they all want me to be, she's dead. Like the vampire you used to be."

She glanced around the alley, no longer able to keep eye contact with the man slumped in front of her. Finding the hard stone wall her head had just smacked into, several thoughts occurred to her at once.

"We first met in an Alley" she whispered distractedly, concentrating on the revelation she'd just had and the resulting chaos it caused in her head.

She heard him grunt as he righted himself, obviously sensing her distraction, he replied quietly, almost like he was talking to a startled animal, "no, you don't mean that Buffy, if you just came home you would see you still love them, need them"

It didn't escape her that he had left himself out of the equation. "They think they need me, but its not me they need, they need... who knows what they need, but its not me... Spike.. you..." she trailed off, obviously still distracted by her thoughts.

Worried Spike came up behind her, his anger evaporating with his concern, "the fact is pet, I don't know what's wrong, but you can't solve it all the way out here, you need to come home. I'm not going to leave you out here, I'll just keep tracking you"

Still distracted, Buffy barely acknowledged his words. He had no power over her... at least that's what she had thought, and besides she had given up on guilt, most emotions were to hard to hold onto, however excitement was creeping up on her and threatening to overwhelm. She could feel Spike at her back, the slayer in her urging her to turn towards the threat, a threat that could harm her? And suddenly she wanted to talk to the old Spike, the Spike that didn't carry on about guilty concience and wanted nothing more than the violence, the dance as he used called it. A killer of Slayers he had been called, merciless. And yet, he had never been one for mind games, this was more of a comfort to Buffy just than then it should have been. Ignoring his past statement she went back to what she was saying before. "When we first met, it was in an Alley. You told me you were going to kill me"

"Buffy!" Spike grabbed at her again and she revelled in it, not at the hold he had her in now but in the reminder of what he could be. "What's gotten into you, are you listening love?"

Slowly turning back to face him, she allowed her chest to graze across him arms "Play darts with me, if you win then I will come back with you. If I win, then I get to ask something of you" Lifting her eyes slowly to his face she met his bemused expression. He truly was a beautiful man, but it seemed to her that he was loosing his freedom just as she was gaining his.

"What are you playing at slayer?" He was suspicious but as curious as ever at her strange behaviour. "Darts?"

"That's right darts, you win I come back. You loose, you owe me a favour," stepping closer, she allowed her body to come into contact with Spike's and felt him stiffen at the contact, clearly not knowing what to make of it.

"Favour?" He gulped slightly, the feeling of her pressed up against him causing his brain to slow down even as he felt her heart speed up. He was completely confused, but decided he had no choice but to go along with what she wanted. He couldn't drag her back and his desire for her was a constant burn shoved to the back of his mind. With one word she could control his entire being. So used to a life of getting what he wanted when he wanted, that being denied this very thing had quickly turned into an obsession, this alone gave the girl in front of him more power than anyone, even then that of Drusilla.

"Yes a favour" Buffy answered, her excitement turning into a longing deep within her, realisation of her situation awakened long buried feelings of lust rather than the more appropriate fear. Stepping even closer then before, she could feel her body moulding to him, her knees grew weak as she heard him let slip a quiet moan.

"I promise you will like it" She whispered, before stepping away suddenly and heading back into the club. Hissing with the sudden absence of her warmth, he had no choice but the follow.

Buffy's head was reeling with the many realisations she had come to in the alley, but she had stopped questioning what she wanted the moment she left Sunnydale. This was her new life and she would be damned if she was going to let anything control her this time around. That thought alone was lifting her out of her numbness that had plagued her for months and was elevating her current emotional onslaught. She could feel Spike following her, even through the thick crowds this dark club drew nightly. Never had she felt so connected to him, she could distantly feel the presence of another vampire in the club but she ignored it, that's not why she was here. Not any more.

Spike pushed his way through the throng of people he encountered with ease, eyes only for the slayer. Her words of when they first met triggering his own memories, even though her first impression of him was in an alleyway his was quite different, he had watched her in the club beforehand, watched her dance, sway to the music. Instantly he had been taken aback, she seemed so free, careless, alive. The slayers he had met before her had been rigid, tough and broken, they had seen death and had only themselves to get them through it. Buffy had been something entirely different and he remembered even now how desire for something other than the kill had stirred in his loins. He hadn't meant to show himself that night, just as he hadn't meant to attack on parent teacher night. But he was drawn to her like he'd never been drawn to anyone before. And the first time they had fought, he had never felt anything like it. It was like touching the sun, dangerous, exciting, addictive and bloody painful. From that moment on, he had never been able to stay away for long. They had stayed locked in a painful dance, it never ended, when it seemed like one of them would win someone always backed down, neither wanting the dance to end. She had scoffed when he had described what they did as dancing, but it was exactly what they did. They were playing a dangerous game that neither knew how to control or stop and now he couldn't help but suspect the game was about to get a lot more complicated and a lot more dangerous.

Distracted by his thoughts, he almost ran into three darts that had been placed in front of him point first. Recovering quickly, he snatched them up, raising an eyebrow, he decided that whatever this new mood of Buffy's was, he was damn sure going to make the most of it. He may as well have some fun before heading back to Sunnyhell to become everyone's whipping boy again, the thought causing him to grimace at what he had become.

Buffy had led them to a quieter part of the club although the deep thrumb of the base could still be felt and the music still managed to seep through the walls into the pool room they now found themselves in. She almost smiled at Spike's obvious distraction as he made a grab for the darts.

"Let the game begin" She drawled out before immediately throwing her darts at the board.

Her aim was as excellent as ever and she turned back to Spike with a confident smile to find he wasn't looking at the dart board but instead was looking her over with a vivid interest. She could feel his eyes running over her body, the smile vanished from her face and was replaced with a flush, she could feel herself heating up. He had a glint in his eyes, that of a predator that she hadn't seen on him for a long time and it caused her stomach to clench. Gods how she missed the dance, she realised now that fighting with Spike, more than with anyone she was playing with death and she had revelled in the power it gave her. She was surprised to feel a twinge of fear as she witnessed Spike start to stalk towards her. One minute he had looked deep in thought, then the next minute he was walking towards her with such purpose, that she found herself backing away from habit alone. When she heard his voice back to his old arrogant tones, her breath caught and her eyes widened in shock.

"It occurs to me," he drawled moving closer, "that I don't actually have any interest in returning to Sunnydale at the current time, in fact..." He paused at this point throwing all three darts haphazardly into the board, "I'm fairly certain I'd like to stay here for a while."

Moving back further, she realised he had backed her into a wall yet again, her breathing picked up as his breath fanned across her face. Her body tightened at his proximity and she could practically hear her heart pounding in her ears, god how she had missed these encounters, only now unlike before she allowed herself to get lost in the feelings he created within her.

Tilting his head towards the dart board he chuckled slightly, "you win love, now what was that favour you wanted"

Buffy's head was spinning, at the time she hadn't known what she had wanted. But now she knew exactly what she wanted, what she needed to reawaken her to life.

"Bite me," she said softly, far more breathlessly then she had intended and winced slightly at her weakness. Shaking, she realised that he had her trapped, not just against the wall but in a corner and she could feel the bass against her back from the next room. Finally, glancing up at him, dreading his reaction, she found him merely frowning at her, lifting his hand he gently moved a strand of hair out of her face. Regardless of everything, the scoobies, his chip, his lack of a soul, he cared for her deeply.

"You know I can't love, besides even if I could why would you want me to?" His eyes had softened as he realised he had her scared.

This wasn't Buffy, this was a shell of what Buffy used to be, maybe she did need to get away. But he couldn't possibly fathom why she wanted him to bite her.

"Please," she whispered pulling on his coat, her breathe fanning over his lips, "you can, you have hurt me twice since you have been here," she felt him try to pull away immediately shock and astoundingly fear showing through his eyes. But she held fast, "it's not your chip, I know it's not. It's me, I can feel it, I'm different. I've come back wrong... changed. I told you, I'm not who I used to be." Buffy's numbness started to take over again as she felt Spike pull away from her roughly, causing her to bounce slightly of the wall he had her pressed against. She watched mutely, not even reacting as he turned to lean on one of the pool benches. Quietly and quickly breathing fast, he walked over to a woman who was leaving the toilets and making her way back to the room throbbing with music. He grabbed at her but immediately reeled backwards, clutching at his head, swearing. Buffy couldn't hear what was said, but it was clear he had just tested her theory. Storming back to her, he grabbed her by the shoulders roughly slamming her the short way back into the wall, he was breathing heavily from the pain of the chip and confusion.

"I don't believe you," he rasped out, his eyes only just now gaining focus on her. Buffy was revelling in the sensation of him holding her so tight and allowed her emotions to show on her face, she needed this, she needed to feel alive. Clutching at his coat again, she grabbed at the back of his head bringing her forehead to his.

"I'm sick of everything Spike, I need to forget the guilt, the responsibility and I need to remember how to feel, how to feel pain, passion, fear," bringing her mouth closer to his she spoke her next words so close her lips grazed his as she spoke, "I miss the dance Spike, wake me up" still she didn't move she waited grasping the back of his head painfully.

Spike's thoughts were flying at a hundred miles an hour, but with his slayer pressed so close to him they were flying out of his head just as quick and with a soft moan he slammed his mouth to hers, letting out the week of tension since their first kiss.

As with their first kiss, Buffy immediately relinquished all thought and merely clutched at him, desperately, the whole room fading to nothing. At first their mutual desperation meant that their teeth clashed and they merely scrabbled at each other, both trying to get closer and gain control, until with a groan, Spike grabbed her hips with one hand boosting her off the ground, while with the other grabbed her interfering hands and slammed them onto the wall above her head.

Instinctively, Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist, but struggled with her trapped hands, however, now with his hand that was on her waist freed he placed it with his other hand, trapping both her hands above her while he pushed his hips to hers to hold her against the wall, causing them both to gasp and break their kiss with the sensation. However as quick as they were to separate, Spike was just as quick to re-initiate it now that he had the upper hand, smoothly taking her lips with his own he gently moved over her, calmed now that the initial rush had warn off. He had her in his arms again and he was not going to waste a second. Nibbling her bottom lip gently, he pressed his hips forward again and when she gasped he took advantage and plunged his tongue deep into her mouth.

Moaning Buffy used what little leverage she had left to thrust back into Spike, feeling the hardness between her legs at the same moment she felt his tongue smoothly thrust into her mouth. She melted and could feel wetness pooling between her legs. Desperately, she ran her tongue along his, seeking the friction with her mouth that she desired lower. Still, she felt him move impossibly closer to her, she could barely breathe, she was pressed against the wall so hard, but still it wasn't enough, she needed more. Trying to wrench her arms free to pull at him she broke away from his mouth with a gasp both scared and exhilarated that she was unable to get her arms free. Spike immediately started kissing down her neck, thrusting against her again in his need. Forgetting the struggle with her hands Buffy thrust back, going mad with the sensation pulling her legs around him trying to bring him impossibly closer to her centre. He was sucking at her neck and running his blunt teeth along her jugular, moaning she arched her neck toward him and he crushed his upper body closer to her in response.

It had been so long since he had tasted a human, longer since he had tasted a slayer. He could smell her blood pounding just beneath the skin. Without the chip holding him back, he was finding it increasingly difficult to control himself. And the fact that she had asked him wasn't helping, he should be asking her questions, trying to help her, not grinding against her and sucking on her neck. But now he had started, he simply couldn't stop, unless she made him. Frantically, he pulled his head away and at the same time released her arms. Clutching her face between his hands he looked deep into her eyes, "tell me to stop, or I will do this whether you really want it or not."

His breathe came out in pants, his eyes wild, Buffy could not refuse him any more than she could refuse herself. With her newly freed hands she grabbed his head and roughly placed it again at her neck, holding him there, when she felt him begin to kiss along her neck again, she moved her hands to his shoulders and held on tight, a spark of fear taking over her lust momentarily. She knew he would be able to smell it and he responded by wrapping his arms around her again firmly but without the crushing desperation of a moment ago. An odd calm descending upon her, Buffy couldn't help but feel as if she was in the eye of the storm, bringing a hand up, she stroked his hair softly while he continued to kiss her neck, the sudden calm allowing her fear to turn into a steady throb of desire. His kisses sending sparks of longing directly to her centre, She wanted this, resting her head aside his as he rested against her neck she murmured softly "please," only issuing a slight gasp as she felt his face change in response, yet he still continued to kiss and lick lightly along her neck until finally he stilled and Buffy thought she would die from the tension, until suddenly she felt a pain so sharp at first she didn't even comprehend where it was issuing from, he had done it quickly and had buried his teeth to the hilt. Eventually, Buffy realised he hadn't moved except to grip her tighter and she could feel a small leak of warm blood rolling down her chest where he had neglected to swallow. The pain was still overwhelming but with tears in her eyes, she realised that this was it, she had done it and she was alive. At least for now.

"Its all right," she managed to rasp out her voice tight, "please Spike, I need this."

That's all it took for Spike to regain his senses,, she felt him pull back slightly causing a different kind of pain that caused her to stiffen, but not all from pain and then he took the first draw on her blood and she thought she would die from the feeling of it. It was a unique sensation, the feeling of her blood flowing into another she felt her centre throb painfully as he drew upon her neck again. She found herself shaking and clutching him to her neck desperately, her lower body moving against his, desperate for friction. Causing him to growl and plunge his teeth back into her again taking another, longer pull of blood. Crying out this time, Buffy's eyes rolled back into her head with the pain becoming an all-consuming pleasure. He gave two more pulls in which Buffy clutched at him desperately, moving against him, her head leaning further and further back in rapture until it hit the wall with an audible think in the noisy club. Hearing this broke Spike from the spell slightly and he withdrew his fangs causing a long sobbing moan to come from Buffy, but although he had withdrawn his teeth his lips remained and she could still feel him pulling slightly at the wound the sensation seemingly making her whole body throb with the sharp pain it drew from her. She never wanted him to stop and clutched at him tighter than ever before. Finally however she could feel herself begin to weaken as apparently did Spike and he pulled away slowly licking her wound gently closing it, until the last of the blood was gone from her skin. She could feel herself shaking and clutched to Spike weakly. Distantly, she felt herself get lifted off the wall and carried to a couch somewhere nearby, he sunk both of them onto it none to gracefully, causing her to bounce on his lap where his arousal was still obviously apparent. Suddenly embarrassed, she slipped of his lap but remained latched onto his side. She felt unable to let go. Neither said anything, just clutched at one another trying to make sense of what had just come to pass.


End file.
